Divorces can be a messy scenario, regardless of the reasons why it is taking place, and those most at risk are the children. Before we start talking about how to best protect your kids from the consequences and the emotional turmoil that a divorce can have on the children, it is important to remember that no child will come out of this unscathed, the goal here is damage limitation.
Divorce rates are climbing and with modern law being the way it is, divorces are not something that were as difficult as they were in times gone by. What this means is that many children are at risk of emotional damage as the result of their parents splitting up and if you are currently going through divorce proceedings, here’s how to best shield your kids from the debris.
Open and Honest
Generally speaking, hiding information from your children could be one of the worst things to do as kids have a sense of picking up that something is wrong. Of course this is not to say that you should tell your kids all of the details of what is going on, but they should at least have a general idea. This will change depending on how old your kids are, younger children need to only know the headlines, if your children are older then you can of course divulge a little more.
Your kids are going to have a million questions buzzing around their heads and whilst this is going to be a tough time for you, it is important that you give your children the airtime to raise questions. If you fail to do this then you will leave your children to make assumptions about what is going on and invariably they will always favour the worst case scenario, something which you must put a stop to. Don’t just ask your kids how they are feeling, push further and try to create an environment where they can be frank with you about their feelings.
Don’t Air Laundry
If you have ill feelings towards your soon-to-be ex-partner, it is vital that you do not saying anything overly negative about them in front of your children. The same rules go when it comes to fighting or arguing with your partner, make sure that you always try and do this away from the children. The reasons for this are twofold, firstly it is important to remember that your partner is also the parent of your child and whatever your feelings are towards them, you shouldn’t put that on your child. The second reason for this is that kids are very impressionable and arguing in front of them or saying negative things will make them think that it is alright to do the same.
Make sure that you never use your kids as a pawn or a gambling chip when it comes to the divorce. You must aim to keep their lives as simple and as normal as possible, in what is not a normal situation. Whatever is going on between you and your ex partner should stay between you both and never involve the children.